we put on a show in the hot tub for our boyfriends, then climbed out and both got down on our hands and knees and puked at the same time--still naked.
When I meet a new girl, I'm terrified of mentioning something she hasn't already told me but that I have learned from some light internet stalking.
They got their marriage license when they were at the courthouse for her arraignment.
I'm wearing a shirt that says "birthday girls #1 homo" ...what has my life come to?
you have failed as an in class drinking partner.
I'm not sure which is more depressing, the fact that the hospital is making me put together a living will before surgery, or that all i'll be leaving behind is 25k in student loan debt
When I get home we should play "let's see how many Christmas movies we can watch before we start having sex."
Going to the u of w I constantly have that moment of, oh hey I felt you up at that rave at folk fest that one time. Winnipeg is too small.
How's dinner? Come here? You can bring your boyfriend if you're ok leaving without him
He was like low grade Riff Raff, but I hit it. Twice. His grill popped out the second time.
Egg rolls and cum. Not my worst snack.
Why are my jeans soaking wet and smell like chlorine??
Bc u told a stranger in the hotel "I have sinned' and made him get into the hotel fountain and "baptize u". I've got a vid
I love FaceTime, every time you ring me the morning after its like I went home with your one night stand too.
Yeah, he fractured his ass by doing a canon ball into the bath tub....
So here I am, sexting at work.
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