If it has a penis then it will be stupid. Just how it works.
i almost got kicked out of the rave because i was trying to get in on some couple's makeout sessions
She was narrarating everything she did.. like while making toast.
She literally called herself a shamefully bad decision. Of course I slept with her. Best bad decision ever
That last minute feeling of hesitation on whether I should bring my health card to the bar usually means I'm in for a good night.
She has a tattoo on her inner thigh that's an x with a long dotted line. So after she passed out I signed it. Dunno what else I was supposed to do...
The ONE weekend I don't put anything up my nose, and it decides to bleed like crazy
Can't a white girl just get drunk on a Sunday night and eat rice crispy treats. SHIT
We did shots with the Tupperware consultant last night. I'd say the night was a success.
I apparently asked the bartender for a plastic bag and told her I was gunna puke then grabbed two handles from the bar then put the handles in the plastic bag and left.....
She just kept roaring and saying Katy Perry had nothing on her. Wtf did she take?
Scientific fact: if he makes a face like a demonic dog when he's fucking you, makes it easier to fuck without feelings.
And Mike keeps telling Will that love at first sight is true and this is just a shit show. Help.
You've discovered your super power: Your Vagina
now whenever i pass that house all i can think about is how i pooped in their yard..
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