Update from family reunion: my aunt Janet once got her legs stuck behind her head. The fire department had to be called.
I'm playing a drinking game with nyc prep. This will not end well for meeee
Everytime the gay dude pretends he's not gay, drink a cosmo. Everytime the crosseyed girl is crosseyed, kill her
This needs to stop. I just vacuumed the wall. Adderall is a double edged sword.
Its like after 6 beers, the clap doesn't scare me anymore.
i dont care how hungover you are, go back to the frat house and get him. HE IS 11.
there was 12 of us, girls included, shirtless and wielding swords as we bet on rock paper scissors in the middle of the bar. It was like Cinco de Mayo version of the Deer Hunter
Both the cop and the paramedic were hitting on me while I was on the ambulance. My boob fell out and they just about had full on erections right there. They Came back two hours later to sign my cast with their phone numbers. #stillhotwhilebleeding
Saw you fall down on Jefferson and a cop drove by and shook his head. How you didnt get arrested after the party you went to on saturday is beyond me.
OMFG "ASS" JUST STARTED PLAYING ON MY PHONE VIA PANDORA AS IM IN THE CAR WITH A CONGRESSMAN FUCKKKK
If fixing it is ignoring it, and getting naked. Then yes we fixed it.
Imma do four shots of whisky within two minutes and pass out. Otherwise this'll go badly.
so I think we need to change lawn care services...the guy woke me up by the pool while I was naked...told me he already picked up all the beer cans for us and gave me his number for the next time we party...
Let me just get through this whole court subpoena thing and then ill go back to buying alcohol for minors.
I always knew ther was a reason why we're best friends
Obvs our love of drugs
I like to think of it more as our love of curiosity
Well I thought I saw everything and then I saw Christmas themed poop bags at Petco.
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