if you count grabbing my crotch as an introduction then yeah i got a couple of those tonight
Company party. Just told vp "you look like a cat person"
Just so you know, you're MY booty call. Feel degraded.
Why do the people I hook up with still exist after we're done?
I just imagined you going baby-crazy and trying to shove him up into your uterus. Yes, I'm aware he's 7 years old.
The sad part is that if I don't get a random pic of your balls or ass or both every month, I start to worry that we're not friends anymore
God gave me a talent besides one night stands. I feel like I should use it
Getting robbed by hookers is def a right of passage in a mans life
Smoked a blunt with my dad then introduced him to cinnabon delights. Today was a good day.
the only thing I remember was some guy took out his fake eye to use it for beer pong
Cocaine and dance dance revolution for 4 hours. I consider last night a success.
He kept trying to make out with me but I was just trying to show him Shrek memes
I'm actually on the verge of cancelling a booty call because I have an early meeting tomorrow. If this is what adulthood is going to be like, I'll pass.
i just want a beer and a blow job. is that so much to ask?
and i just want a ring so i can stop faking it. is that?
Sorry. Im too sleepy to penis.
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