Whssdazt areerg yiu up to? U thijk ur lame!
read your last text- its a foreign language-im not ignoring you, easyyy
You need to come get me. I'm pretty sure that gravity's going to crush my brain
he just sent me a picture of his penis sticking through a piece of paper that he had drawn a stick figure with tits on it that said "you"
But today feels so special with katie getting herpes and me cleaning my room. Good things are happening.
We were just at different life stages. He wanted to get married and have kids, I wanted to take MDMA and fuck my roommate.
drinking ice water after you brush your teeth, is like Antarctica blowing a load into your mouth.
Think I just subconsciously wanted a cigarette and started sleep walking to Carl's.. Didn't realize what I was doing until I found myself in an elevator.
my phone went off during the middle of it and he ask what i was doing. he wouldn't let my reply with "your boss". ..
YOU CANT FOOL THE TOILET
Why am I cleaning the house twerking to anaconda wearing a bears jersey and helmet?
well I didn't shave for the hot dilf I banged last week so I'm sure as hell not shaving for you. Sry
His dog ate the vibrator. The WHOLE vibrator. We spend the morning after trying to make it vomit up the battery. Why does this always happen to me?
But we made up last night and had unbelievably crazy sex tonight. I legit went blind for like 15mins from him choking me. It was awesome
So apparently I’m into choking now
Talk all the shit you want but I slept in a oversized monster truck tire last night.
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