whoa...plan B gets you drunker quicker.
GM filed for bankruptcy, all the dealerships closed, and it's june and I'm in jeans and a sweatshirt and I'm cold. What is the point of living in this state anymore?
he had to chose between the booze and condoms
what did he choose?
the booze, then looked at me and said, plan b is free right?
I made weed fried chicken. What have you done today?
Only she could turn her genital wart appointment into a date night.
From the same High Brittany who brought you such thoughts as, "Fuck, am I wearing shoes?" Comes High Brittany on a date! Stay tuned. This will be interesting.
Matt you can be anything you want to be. Including the awesome guy that brings pizza to a bunch of stoned and sorta drunk kids.
Either that or he's gagged in a strangers trunk right now.
Well I suppose either way he's learning a pretty tough lesson right now.
Also bring a pizza or no entry to my vagina OR the fort.
Cheese only
I have a 8 minute video of a fish tank on my phone.
We need to stop going to pet stores high.
Trust me. My dick only does selfies for you.
She has the best kind of daddy issues
he is sitting in the driveway by himself laughing at nothing, idk what to do
And he claims I gave him “fuck me” eyes while he was ordering me a happy meal
Idk why more people don't drink at work ... i mean, yeah, the cash might be off tonight, but my customer service is fucking phenomenal right now
Randomize