Just saw a car with license plate GYPSYS that was full of gypsies
Weird shit dude, I just realized that the girl I fucked last night looks like Shaun White's twin sister. I dunno if I should be scared or turned on
I hope her Double McTwist was as good as his
why do the even put the "Please drink responsibly" on tequila ads? like has anything responsible ever come from tequlia. No. never.
Gentleman, we have a new medal category - number of women per day in apartment WITHOUT FURNITURE
I might have a beer. Just to keep this hangover on its toes.
Been home for 3 days and already spiked coffee with Kahlua. Only 106 till we go back to school
I DO NOT KNOW WHO SHE IS, WE HAVE NO MORE FRUIT, SHE CAN'T STAY HERE.
Love these next 4 months. Wake up from a college football hangover and get to put your hand down your pants and watch NFL football all day.
This is the beginning of the end. Testicle Tuesdays and free ball Friday are going to scar people for life
Dude that picute of your balls will haunt my nightmares
I SWEAR TO GOD IF SHE FUCKS WITH OUR GOLD GENE POOL
Out of all the things you could eat off of my tits you choose lettuce? Thats so healthy. Yuck.
Don't be weirded out, but my bondage straps are made of my ex boyfriend's curtains
Going through his web history. 10 hours ago he searched "how to put on condom with your teeth" I think I'm getting it tonight.
guess who smoked weed with their grandpa tonight. and no it wasn't me.
How many weight watcher activity points do you think sex is worth?
Randomize
