Skip Greektown and come to Geektown. I just want to cuddle.
No one appreciates an amoeba in a balloon hat.
We tried having a conversation with our noses.
And then he asked the cop "shall i shut off the lady gaga?" as he was being frisked.
He's trying to wipe up all the spilled drinks with a banana
I mean I'm forever immortalized as the one who puked in his dad's straw hat.
there is no 'pace myself' on the blackout express
I just had a flashback of 4:30am: me hugging the toilet bowl and you handing me a jar of pickles to open. There is something seriously wrong with us.
Ya but I plan to getting arrested more towards the end of summer
Strike three, the fat brides maid they call shit puker also has herpes.
Yo, go checkout Kerri's Instagram quick! There's like 12 pics of her fucking some guy in a bar's bathroom. GO GO GO GO!!!!
He showed me a picture of his baby hamsters and I called them "Mammal McNuggets"
wow thanks for pushing me towards an older man
you gotta start somewhere if you're going to be a trophy wife
HE PUT A HOLE. IN. MY. HOUSE!!!
When we were finished she immediately got up, cut a star out of a piece of paper, colored it gold, taped it to my chest and deemed me the Sheriff of Sex.
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