What's the politest way to tell someone that you're only interested in them when they're naked, and even then it's just like a passing "meh?"
I wish there were whore gnomes that cleaned our apartment when we were gone.
Did you ever feel like going into a planned parenthood and performing an abortion in front of them?
Umm..who the fuck is this?
Oh shit
I hope whoever gets these locks of love doesn't have a drug test anytime soon
So... 5th graders can't whisper for shit, but apparently I have an awesome rack.
Haha. Niice.
Yeah, I didn't know whether to be shocked or flattered.
both.
her night didn't end so well, both of her boyfriends got arrested... together.
come in to starbucks and ill make you a 4loko latte before theyre banned
He just compared himself to a majestic butterfly in regards to the lack of girlfriends. i don't even know what to say.
at least if we puke, we will be surrounded by beautiful, non-judgemental trees.
I just had a brazillian performed by a hungarian named olga. Im pretty sure she was trying to rip out my soul. You owe me a million orgasms
It's been a year of occasional hook ups....this was bound to happen sometime even with your jank ovary schedule.
jen just told me ur idea of revenge was saluting while letting his bong float away while attached to some balloons.
Apparently mid making out I got up and said "I need to figure out my life" went in the bathroom and threw up for two hours.
I've had my dick out in public way too much for someone my age...
Although the guy I'm messing around with just offered to let me be his rich brother's sugar baby
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