He told me he looked up all the foods that make cum taste better and he put it all on his moms shopping list. she came through my line. this ones a keeper I think.
One little Beyonce reference and he turns on me faster than liberals on Jon Mackey
Just saw a Mexican guy pushing a stroller with 3 twelve packs of corona in it with a toddler struggling to keep up on foot behind him
Just saw two girls doing a walk of shame together. Slut bonding at it's best.
Guy next to me at the plasma center is high and watching porn on his itouch. I am wayy to hung over for this level of poor.
can we get together and have a vodka water gun fight? i need to get som intense excersise/alcohol
Dad just showed up on someone else's golf cart, filled an ice chest with booze and left while yelling "SHINANIGANS!!!!" this is going no where fast.
Admit it. It's a brilliant plan with hundreds of possible repercutions.
Understatement of the year.
drinking right out of the bottle and nobody bats an eye.
its good to be home.
either i huffed spraypaint or ate out that makeup artist. you decide.
Congratulations on your downgrade, shes one hell of a 5
he can suck his own dick, i cant compete with that
I like to oil my gears with cheap vodka and strangers
And since we used to fuck you are absolutely obligated to like my tweets
I woke up with my my shoes on and pants half way off and missing 60 dollars. Please please please tell me you saw me last night.
Randomize
