South Carolina's governor once cited "moral legitimacy" when he was a congressman voting for President Bill Clinton's impeachment. Karma is a bitch.
I think I would be able to remember how to smoke but I can't seem to remember how to breathe.
Just saw the first guy i ever slept with in drag. I can hear my grandfather saying "i knew she was a lesbian" somewhere
we took turns throwing up in the kitchen sink last night...no i am not doing the dishes
i swear to god even though i took those meds before coming here i did not hallucinate zulema silently throwing up into a breakfast burrito
I don't think he understands what an important role his penis plays in my level of self esteem
dinner is belligerent. she just poured the rest of the pitcher of margaritas into a take home box. people are staring.
My vagina senses are tingling. I know your here.
Sitting in airport bathroom. Guy walks into toilet next to me and announces "I want to apologize to the entire airport for what I'm about to do"
Do you know what the cost code is for strip clubs? I'm filling out my company expense report right now
It's official. Those are now your come fuck me flipflops
He just snapchatted me a blank snap that said "miss our sex" Vagina game too strong
I have already put on my inside pants.
Doing a walk of shame at Wal-Mart at 3:30am because when I left at 11pm I was getting milk
I am mentally ready for anal.
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