lol you are funny thanks bro I'll take you to a strip club
I don't wanna go to a strip club I'd rather get my boobs free or earn them from a series of good deeds
Ha! What's wrong with that? Hard work deserves compensation. I accept cash, checks, and boobies!
The woman at walgreens tried to sell me clearance condoms with my fake eyelashes. Does it look like I get laid?
I was amazed that you fell flat on your ass and still managed not to spill them drinks in your hands. Your getting good at this.
critical mistake not lubing the nipples
Check Facebook. Random dude tagged us in photos from last night dancing at Denny's while eating a sampler platter. 1. How does he have our names, and 2. You said we ate at Tbell.
some guy just burried his vomit in the sand.
Is she still in your room?
Not for long. My plan is to smoke her out like a small woodland creature.
You leaned over so she could squirt ketchup in your hair and then started chanting "KETCHUP NIGHT!! KETCHUP NIGHT!!!"
Wake your sexy ass up. It's donut time.
I got picked up after "I just threw up in my face". Then I had very specific instructions involving the bathtub.
I think it's safe to assume that dad heard you lose your lesbian virginity last night
Very unfortunate to find out the kid who took your virginity has never seen Star Wars🙃
We could probably bang our way to enlightenment. However acid helps.
I came home and my mom goes "why are you barefoot and where the hell are your shoes?" and I replied "I have French fries"
I'm going to ride your dick until it falls off. That horny.
I'm equal parts terrified and turned on. Come over.
Randomize
