SEEEEXXX PLEASE
well i just puked at a family gathering so i can cross that off the bucket list
So on facebook, the pictures from my church mission trip are right up next to the pictures of my first time on E. Sorry Jesus.
found out this morning via facebook that the guy i met last night has a wife and a baby and he took me to his apartment where he takes girls to cheat on his wife
i mean you met him at the daytona 500
get to allyx's house asap
Ok is everything ok
Yeah, theres just lesbians
omg yes on my way
and then you yelled "out of the way, i'm a lifeguard!" and everyone let us through
I tried to tell her I've only slept with 3 other people...she then named off 5 of her sorority sisters I fucked and asked me if she should continue
Just used my flashlight app to find a gummy lifesaver I dropped on the floor
I like how you're utilizing your resources
He'll only communicate through snapchat with pictures of him holding his cat or his dick. Bit of Russian roulette opening them in public but I did it anyway.
They way I see it is I've wasted 7 years of having these glorious tits. I only have about 3 good years left before idk kids or just gravity takes over and they don't look this nice so it's basically open season.
They are going to name an STD after you.
Turns out that Irishman put my panties under his pillow afterward. Thanks?
Now that you have a boyfriend, can I have my vibrator back?
Meeting him up for him to pay half of the Plan B was awkward but worth it cause I'm broke as fuck
You burped in your shoe and whispered 'you're mine now'
Randomize
