Seriously dude, you need to stop beating off to the ellen show, it's just weird.
The university put out a message about those missing salt and pepper shakers... You should at least give back 60 of them.
Dude I'm drinking a martini out of a water bottle, I've become my parents.
well considering we left the bathroom with the mirror off the wall, a bloody nose, and clothes all messed up they assume im just a coke whore now..
You probably don't remember. You were drunk and getting your tits drummed on like haitian bongos in a voodoo ritual.
I have pink band-aids all over my body, WHAT HAPPENED?
Keg backpack and a Bike
Dont be alarmed when you find the maintenance guy passed out on your couch. I didn't to explain why I was there so I offered him a drink, I dont know what happened after that.....
five cans of playdoh and a game of guess whose penis ...
No work today. I woke up and someone had written "Markhot Penis = Party" on my forehead in sharpie. Do you know a Mark?
What alcohol should i drink Saturday to completely hate life?
He literally just peed in a trash can in our room. It didn't even have a bag in it
You just put lesbians and Hogwarts in the same sentence. Of course I'm in.
I feel a little uneasy about having my grandma sleep in my bed that I've banged chicks in not too long ago... Fuckin blizzards
On the bright side, only one more day until we aren't sober anymore.
Mid thrust, say hold on I need a pic for my friend.
Randomize
