Update, blind date is cute and fun.
Scratch that, blind date just threw up.
so i told him i still liked him. he laughed
well, your crazy. what did you expect?
I wonder if I could sublet my bathtub to anyone.
There is ecstasy everywhere. Get over here right no5w. The 5 is silent.
No, its ok. Im playing strip pretty pretty princess im currently dueling for the crown
I fell asleep on the floor again. i dont want help, just a pillow. its kind of nice down here.
Just saw a couple chasing each other on lawn mowers. Oh South Knoxville.
I left when you were using your mug to lay on the street and ask for spare change
All she has to do is text me and my dick gets hard. It doesn't matter what it's about. Last text was about a homeless dude
My throw up tasted like pumpkin, fall is right around the corner.
So I sent him a snap of me half naked holding a pie last night.
I told him I had an IUD and he asked me how was a bomb a form of birth control..
AND I HAVE A NICE COCK! A STRIPPER TOLD ME SO IT MUST BE TRUE!
I’ve developed a strange interest in ear wax removal vids on YouTube. Dear god, I need to get a job
There’s an entire generation of people out there who didn’t grow up watching Mr. Rogers and it shows. These Boomers need to get their shit together.
Randomize