at some point to night u and I have a 'meeting' too...(1-737): I hope so
And then I said "flip over. I want to show you something i learned in Afghanistan."
I hate bills.
Like ones you have to pay or people named William?
he told me i looked like an animal then proceeded to kiss me
Quick, to the slutcave!
Teenaged girls are God's best work and the Devil's best tool. Remember that my friend.
I showed that dick picture that your date texted you to everyone because you passed out and left your phone unattended. Your fault. Plus his cock was big so his fault too.
I can't tell if they're having sex or watching the beach scene from Saving Private Ryan. All I know is I hear explosions and men screaming and crying
Hey I have your shoes. Do you remember shouting "Police brutality!" when the bouncer was kicking you out last night?
He's over here like "remember those pics you sent me a couple years ago? Those were hot." And I'm like "remember talking about what we were gonna name our kids a couple months ago? That was hot." Therein lies the disconnect
STAY IN YOUR APARTMENT. DONT GO TO SAFEWAY TO BUY CONDOMS. DONT GO TO THE VAN.
I just wanna be euthanized
Thas it
I gave you chlamydia, you gave me a concussion. Now we're even.
I don't know whether to cheer for the free bourbon, or cry from the screaming children.
I’ve got a lot of questions but the first one has to be where you got the flame thrower.
Randomize
