youll never guess who i didnt fuck at that party
He better hope I dont die soon. Because I would haunt his bitch ass and cock block 24/7
whenever I think of his sister, I just picture a chick with a huge beard
we got hammered off table wine and i ended up biting my acrylic nail off so i could finger his butt.. ill never look at valentines day the same
There are now half chewed girl scout cookies plastered to my windshield. Do you know anything about this?
So. She dumped me today.
Well, maybe you shouldn't have referred to going down on her as "Dumpster-Diving".
It took years to rebuild my brains forcefield against your charm and I feel like u seal team 6'd ur way in again and caught my common sense sleeping on post
I'm confident that their children would come out as 100% authentic rats
I spent 10 minutes contemplating condensation on grapes this morning.
hes that one kid that offered to spoon after staring at me for 5 minutes
So I paid Bumble $10 to see who liked my profile for a month. Cheap, easy dick. It's all about the economics, yo.
But like it was sooo bad! At one point he tried to flip me over and he fell off the bed
Everything is fine, it's not hung over in here at all\n\n*Narrator* *but in fact everything was not fine*
Nice. I got home at like 3am.stopped at Walmart for a vacuum and weirdly a trash can. Not sure why high me last night needed a new trashcan.
I forgot to bring soap and all I could find here was body wash. It's like bathing with laundry detergent.
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