i dedicated my morning wood to you.
Stage 55 clinger. not a typo. I cannot even believe this shit.
letting you know, as a good neighbor, that when your windows open and your shade is up we can hear and see you dancing naked to money maker... nice boobs
so apparently i worked out for over an hour last night. drinking is the only way i will ever get anything done
that's how you measure success
By how bad my vagina hurts on a Tuesday morning while I'm trying to figure out how I got white girl wasted on a Monday?
Don't talk to me about scholarly dedication until you've taken a final in boxers, a bloody tank top and a zip tie to hold your hair back. I wear the most sullied 4.0 crown of all time....
I am naked in a blanket sprawled on my bed eating a pastry. This is all I want out of life. Ever.
I know I'm moving in six days but getting wine drunk and laying in bed just sounds so good right now
No no this isn't that fun. I'm alone drinking wine and me and the dogs ran out of things to talk about around 9 am.
This dude is trying to sext and all I can think about is taco bell and their new crunch wrap sliders
I'm getting 800 nuggets from McDonald's
I feel like my life just hangs in the balance of "Yeah I'm probably not doing this right"
Fuck these bullshit days. My underwear are still inside out.
Ive seen a birth plenty of times, pretty awesome like a bear trying to climb out of a volkswagon.
Just realized how behind i am. Will gradually increase drinking until i don't remember that i missed an entire year of class.
Randomize
