I'm 99% sure that for 3 hours I thought you were British. We must smoke that again.
Honestly, where the fuck is osama bin laden?
I woke up tied to the door handle with reindeer patterned socks. You can tell it's Christmas.
St Patricks Day is not the day you decide to have a sober epiphany.
you described his penis as a "portable fishing pole"
Fair enough. I'm gonna finish off half a bottle of Brunettes in the shower anf relive the good ol' days. We need a reunion
I heard an explosion in the backyard. You told me you were playing "will it burn".
Yay for living on the edge. I'm trying this new thing where I stop mom-arming people and promote bad decisions. It's working quite well.
I just remember going to take a piss and looking down on the floor and thinking "that looks comfortable" and then I was out.
Can we make a pact that if we're 40 and still sluts that aren't married we can get civil unioned the fuck up and raise an asian baby as our own?
yes and no. im drunk but idk if im "blow marcus" drunk. call in like an hour.
I don't think tits should taste like fish.
We are the best cocktail. We look appealing, taste amazing, and ruin lives.
Please can we have sex in this office for old times sake
He surprised me with a puppy tail butt plug in his ass and wants me to fuck him
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