distance makes the heart seek blowjobs from girls that are closer i heard.
I don't drink during the week.... well, except for Bailey's Tuesdays, which I have to start implementing further.
we ran out of cups so i finished the night drinking out of a paint can.
Well, I plan on starting the night dressed as little red riding hood. Then I plan on finishing the night dressed as a shit show in a red cape.
I just saw an appointment in my phone called "it's been a month" I think I drunkly did that after I slept with Paul to remind myself to check if I got knocked up... I'm smarter drunk than sober.
Well that's another check off the sexual bucketlist of things I never wanted to experience.
Vom Wallet is no more. We now boldly enter a responsible, adult era where we will not throw up liquor onto ourselves.
You said "bag of dicks" before passing out and falling off the landing
Oh god... Please tell me Sarah didn't see me like this
...you may have kinda punched her in the tit on the way down...
Shoot me. Oh my god shoot me. My moms ex "likes assholes"
I'll be the Broncos and you be the Seahawks and you can pound the shit out of me.
I guess the wine stains on your shirt and the $2 vodka tonics you're sweating out just scream, "Welcome to DC, please ask me for directions."
blue gatorade loses no color upon regurgitation
So, were you planning on telling me you left your panties in my glovebox??
I just put a pill up my vagina. It was little like a quail egg. There is so much happening up there right now.
I once went to target high on hydrocodone. I assure you, they can handle unrespectable.
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