I feel like ignoring a facebook event is a lot like a pocket-veto. The only difference is instead of opposing legislation, I don't want to go to your sketchy party.
I just used a tire swing as a toilet. I think I'm gonna pass out here so I can see the look on the first kid who uses it in the morning.
i stuck my finger in my ass and it felt weird. but you know. it should be different when a guy does it right?
I walked in on him shirtless licking the mirror while talking to his reflection. So yes, I definitely want to do shrooms the next time you get them.
turkey basters and jungle juice, is that really the whole shopping list for new year's?
There was a guy on the elevator dressed as santa in flip-flops giving away beer.
I'm on a no morals kick. That'll be 3 girls in 24 hours....ending 2011 with a bang
Breathalizer & tazer party did not go as casually as expected.
The heart of my unhappiness in my job is that it's not a place where coworkers and I can draw dicks on everything to amuse each other
Let's get weird.
It's 10 am...
I'm assuming that means you're not busy...
Mark my words I will never date another cop again. I don't care if he's JESUS.
I just took a service station dump so foul I had to buy gas out of guilt
I'm so sexually frustrated I feel like I'm going to kill my turtle
He fucked me so hard my hair extensions fell out
Sitting beside a stoned cat on the kitchen floor eating cheesecake with my hands...just a struggle
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