She was sleeping without a shirt so I thought I wouldI sneaked a peek at her nipples..than I realized they were just warts...on her back.
I changed the background on my phone to a picture of you so whenever I go to look at porn or text another girl I'll have second thoughts
Am I supposed to find that romantic?
my 3 favorite things in life are tequila, dicks, and making sandwiches. that DOES NOT make me a bad person.
Just read my long term horoscope. I'm not gonna get laid for another 2 years.
he literaly had a hockey helmet on and was swan diving off the couch onto the coffee table.
For sure shouldn't do homework after beers and joints. Just cited like 3 sentences at the end with (History, 2013)
It's like sexual waterboarding. You gave me sex so good I'm comparing it to torture. Jesus.
Go have fun. I'm gonna go shower off the regret.
I'm trying to drink up the confidence to run in public.
We celebrated Cinco the right way. We took shots of 1800 then he fucked me while Selena was on TV in the background
The first time he ever tried to hold my hand, I moon walked away.
I mean I made my therapist laugh so hard she cried....so yes, my life is literally a joke to everyone
he told me I was hypnotizing him with my mouth so I guess I do give good head
i really didnt think i was that drunk last night but the txts from unknwn #s that say i like your lace panties are def telling me otherwise
I'm totes in the mood to go home and like blindly inhale dangerous amounts of porn
Randomize