The maid of honor just puked.
I hate u. Im listening to lady gaga and all i can hear is boca base om om om ommmm
he wont speak to me right now because i told him it must suck knowing he'll never be as good as edward cullen..idiot.
I have sucked so much dick this week I think I am going to start sweating semen
I yelled "Coming in hot." before penetrating. Im pretty sure she loved it.
Woke up this morning with a note saying "great sex, see you never". Why can't I meet more women like her?
And then I learned that we are dating when I said it's out of line to bring fuck buddies home to meet the parents. And then I was single.
The doctor told me if I woke up with a broken foot and don't know how it happened, I might want to look into getting treatment.
We simultaneously blacked out then simultaneously came to then simultaneously had sex with the neighbors. We're definitely meant to be roommates.
This coming from the girl who broke up with a guy because she found out he played the tuba in middle school.
I'm gonna take off my shirt and spin it around my head like petey Pablo so u can find us
My penis has like 3 people bidding on it
I think I need practice at oral sex
I own a practice facility.
It feels like heartburn in my lungs. I'll buy 2 pounds.
Guy just rode past on a lowrider bike smoking a blunt, I want his life
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