Potential corruption. He's 19.
Get them while they're young!
Ben affleck wants to be a US senator. Just thought you would puke with me
i finally found my car by the hideout. it was parked in an employee only parking space with a torn up piece of paper in the back window with the word employee scribbled on it.
Holy shit. This 2 year old just told me her nipples were for her boyfriend. Hello future leaders of america
Just rolled over and found your boyfriend in bed with me. Is mine at your house?
i had to sit with a fan pointed directly to my vag for a good 10 minutes
It started with jello shots. It ended with tears.
Its like a match made in avoid-eachother-because-we're-antisocial-and-awkward heaven
your body is your temple. do you really want a bunch of dicks in your temple?
And anyway at least being paid in opium makes a cool story
I just remembered you petting my nose last night to help the cocaine 'sink in'. I don't think that's how it works
We watched playoff games and fucked so we could both see the TV. I've now found true love.
We could never date. He doesn't drink and he won't bring me tacos after sex. He's on that healthy life bullshit.
We watched X-Files, ate pizza, and he played with my butt. It was a pretty standard Monday.
I hate him but I love him for what he does which is me
Randomize