He muttered something about having just washed he sheets, then demanded I give him all my quarters.
My dick has been asking about u. He said he didn't do anything wrong n I'm a dumbass
think i got pink eye from a stripper in vegas. showgirls did not prepare me adequately for this. be kind, 2010.
just because you are in college doesnt mean its okay to pregame easter mass.
Been at work for four hours and just discovered the chairs in my office double as a napping surface. Most productive thing I've done all day
yeah, but the likliness of me finding my husband at a party where the facebook event is titled "NEW YEARS EVE SHIT SHOW" is highly unlikely
My mom's 50 year old alcoholic friend just told me about how she was more whoreish then us at our age. Challenge accepted.
Got hereat 8. Had 6 beers 2 shots and a game of diZZY BATOS
At one point in time, he cried and said I didn't appreciate him.
I seriously told a stripper I would hold her hand when she goes to get ass implants.
So I put a beer on your bed and jumped on th3 other side of the bed like in the commercials. You my good sir, owe me a budweiser that your bed drank.
That's like a fucking falcon or some shit. I don't know birds but I know that is not a bird you fuck with.
Only thing exciting about him was his dick.
So if your sore it's because you tried to tackle a tree last night. When I told you at the party, you said "What do you expect, I'm an athlete!"
the orange of my hangover Tang is hurting my eyes... my coworkers knew it was hangover Tang too.
Randomize