so i realized that everyone figured out i was a slut before i did. then i realized that no one felt like telling me. sometimes i think you just keep me around for entertainment.
you're right.
Should I be offended if he asked if he could use saran wrap to eat me out?
He just lit his joint with the tiki torches around his pool. He is definitely coming to my future parties
....I found a picture of what appears to be the underneath side of the barstool (taken from the floor) and to top that, 9 pictures of the ceiling. Also, did I mention there's a picture with us posing with a pregnant lady at the bar?! WELP
They set the pop up pool in the basement-running filter and all. Drunk swimming. Come now.
No no don't get confused. We do chemistry homework on Thursdays. We screw on Fridays. Other than that, Words With Friends is our only communication five days a week. We are NOT dating.
Using the random money I found in my bra from Halloween to pay to print my bio notes. I only brought a debit to the bar. College win.
What is your life?
A tangled mess of finals and bad decisions.
True. So did you hook up with pasta or the ultimate warrior
Little bit of both
I was gonna be Romantic and write your name in emoji eggplants but A's are hard
He's nice to look at and knows the difference between your and you're. I win.
I can't trust your balls anymore.
The first time he ever tried to hold my hand, I moon walked away.
who knew rolling through the dorm on a scooter in footie pajamas would attract so many guys. he said i'm his soulmate.
Just watched a guy open his car door, puke, close it, and resume driving. Happy Monday.
Randomize
