You wouldn't stop crying and screaming Hilary Duff doesn't deserve Gossip Girl
I am pretty sure I told him the clouds were earth's purest filtration system and that snow was the rarest and most delicious water in the world. My lips are burning because we ate so much.
I wish sober me loved running as much as drunk me...
It can't be good... The last recollection I have is singing lullabys to his penis
At some point we were all eating banana flavored rolling papers.
I made out with all three roommates...I didnt realize that was actually an awkward situation.
He's nice but I'm a one bouncer kind of girl
I apologize for violently hooking up with her in front of you in the jacuzzi last night.
Pretty sure the cab driver can even smell the sex coming from between my legs
Your lack of enthusiasm for my exciting news of drunken debauchery with an otherwise occupied vagina of one of my greatest conquests yet disturbs me. I'm not happy with you
Oh, and apparently I was butt ass naked and walked into the room where anna was skyping her dude in afghanistan and said "This is happening."
Pre-chapter meeting quote: "Why is there a bun literally taped to the shelf? That doesn't even make sense when you're drunk, who does that?"
Just bumped into my ex. Blowing a dude in the ladies' room at Disney World. I guess it really was her not me.
Well I'm a full service fuck buddy so lemme know if I can get you food or water or anything
She started crying, nearly punched a guy, started smoking multiple cigarets backwards and broke the slide on her bong. Why do I always end up babysitting the crazy ones?
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