Short Circuit remake moving forward, David Carradine dead by his own hand. Come home soon, society deteriorating rapidly. Nation's capitol likely not safe.
oh vodka. i could write you a sonnet.
it's like god just wants me to be high for five days in a row. keep the blizzards coming.
just got booed by the entire restaurant.
I honestly can't remember your justification for putting peanut butter on your cell phone.
Is it bad if one of my goals right now is to snort blow through a licorice?
Don't answer that. It is bad.
We need to be on the same page regarding the 3some this time. No more "one of us should probably leave" moments.
Basically, what i'm trying to say is, if you don't have something, excuse or gift, to satisfy my anger i am going to look you in the eye and piss on the floor.
Oh yeah, found out i got it from my boyfriend's wife. Thanks though.
Super awkward when the coworker you made out with in exchange for molly last weekend keeps coming over to your cube and trying to talk to you
He even wore it to bed. What the hell. He's too excited about that goddamn costume.
Omg drank too much. Threw up in my Santa hat on the train and then of course it leaked all over me.
Drake has all the answers
Everyday this week I have woken up to a different dick pic. It's like a dick pic a day calendar!
Mmm vodka always tastes better when i know i have work at 8am
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