so last night was fun and all.. but you might want to get tested
no more stoned jack in the box. this is the third night in a row.
My sis friend said it was fake then described it as "scary"...greatest adj ever applied to my dick
you got in your car and made the sounds of a NASCAR, then called me on your phone and I was your pit crew. then you apparently you won the race, and THAT'S when you tried to backflip off the top of your car.
The stripper had a daughter my age and offered to introduce us. I didn't know what to say to that.
He panicked, you ducked and I was coming off a 3 day coke binge. It was no one's shining moment.
they won't let me drive with my sombrero
12 trash cans filled with water. Beer cans floating in each, 12 ft apart. Dodgeball. Ultimate beer pong.
Rules. We have to wear superhero outfits
I just bought the ATT family protection plan so that I could block all of my old bar hookups from booty calling me...
"Home for the holidays" isn't clearance to fuck the recently 18 year old high schooler right?
Nope, his last birthday was.
i love him because he let me keep my UGGS on while we had sex
he was very distressed by my statements that there could have been balls on shoulders without awareness
So if a girl goes for it you're gonna stop her and tell her you gave up ejaculation for lent?
Congrats you've received dick pics from an Olympic silver medalist
There. There is gum on my butt cheek IT IS NOT MINE
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