She made fun of how I walked so I announced to her boyfriend that I have cum on her face before.
ejected that DVD during the department meeting.. it was our porn from last night. I have a new nick-name at work.
dude they had a "sorry for partying" wall in their house which consisted if all the hospital bills, tickets, detox receipts and court orders they've gotten. The ENTIRE wall was covered.
Not to make her into that kind of girl, but she did have a condom mural
But it's not about our feelings, it's about making the men we sleep with feel awful about their lives
no one is here. wer drinking in the beer garden in the dark and we stole a bucket of blue paint off the sidewalk. now her legs are blue.
We are going all out this weekend. My liver is already smiling.
He texted his hospitalized grandma while inside me, so really a perfect gentleman.
An orgasm and grocery shopping is the appropriate start to every Monday.
I accidentally left my shirt at my booty calls house. He washed it & hung it up for me in his closet. I can't decide if that's sweet or creepy
Well, after a pitcher of beer, I set my ex on fire. It was a little fire, he's fine. How's your night?
Just threw up mid-poop. I can't drink like I used to.
Pretty sure I got at least one girl to question her sexuality at the Christmas party last night
Sometimes I get confused on who I really actually know and who's lives I just know everything about via internet. Its a fine line
We could have fun in a cardboard box. Think of the damage we could do at an amusement park!
Randomize
