they say Disney World is the happiest place on Earth. It's a close second to the Super 8 on route 18. That place holds some great memories.
He was from Iceland of course I didnt sleep with him, havent you seen Mighty Ducks 2???
may or may not have recieved head in the car before we came in.
First straight guy ever blown in a Prius. Congrats.
She challenged me to a game of rock-paper-scissors for her virginity. I love this girl.
my voice of reason is faarrr too drunk for me to listen.
There was a punch bowl full of straight vodka. Glass bowl, ladle, vodka, and no punch at all. It was something of a rough night
im drunk. people are steering their children away from me. whatever it is that you called for, I assure you that I don't care. have a good night
By the third Id pass back i figured the bouncer had fucked one of us.
Dan marino should def buy this ambulance. But not this one. I'm gonna fuck this ambulance up
Just had Jager bombs for breakfast with her roommate... I do not regret this newfound lesbianism.
I'm gonna cougar town the shit out of that prom.
Wanna know what sucks. Banging the bosses daughter at work and having the boss walk in while you are fucking on his desk. Good day though. Made 6 sales
Went out with the family last night and some 40 yr old lady wanted to take me home. My mom was not happy with me
Too much dab too little lung dying 😵😵😵
Just had a smooth transition from sexting to buffalo chicken dip 😂😂😂
Your skills amaze me
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