I'm sorry for everything. i woke up with two citations stapled to my shirt.
Contrary to popular belief alot of woman do actually enjoy sucking cock.
is 69 when you're sideways or up & down? I was on my back & confused.
win or lose for butler, i'm still masturbating to brad stevens tonight
she both took care of me and took advantage of me. it was BEAUTIFUL.
vodka bottle broke. scooping it out of the plastic tub with a shot glass into a sprite bottle using a ziplock bag as a funnel and straining the glass out with paper towels. good thursday night?
Yeah. I don't think I have anything left in me tho. I think I was throwing up tangible memories at one point.
Dave when you find that upper decker at your house its from me but its for Jill not you
The staples of my diet are Labatt Blue, Xanax, and brick cheese.
I should have never moved out...
A fair warning: I don't think a cop will let you off the hook just because your birthday is on New Year's Eve
the dude in the apartments across the street got a video of me railing blake on your front steps last night
shit like this is why i dont let you drink vodka anymore ..
Don't tell me you're on acid again
I don't think you could pull off being mean.
How do you think I'm still single?
I hate when I'm sexting and I make a typo.
You just killed the sext mood.
Yeah but now he has a wife. It’s going to be different this year
So what. We’ve banged every Thanksgiving since high school. She just has to understand it’s a holiday tradition
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