the ***** family is living proof that there are no more lifeguards in the humen gene pool
Anything crazier than usual happen? I woke up in a stairway with my cock out.
Oh, and that ugly chick transformed into a veritable goddess when she came back at 3AM with a handle of vodka and 100 chicken wings
ur mom makes the best bacon
WHAT ARE YOU DOING IN MY HOUSE
I even got my dealer to make gluten free special cookies ;-)
I may puke in class so I'm excited to see how that goes
As I was about to go to sleep he asked me if I was ready to 69. HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO LOOK AT HIM IN THE FACE OVER DINNER TOMORROW
Have you ever stopped and thought "I do NOT want to be inside of this person right now. Or ever." Because you should.
I think this bruise on my arm is actually an impression of your face
I was planning out a scrapbook to memorialize my affair.......and that's when it hit me, I don't make good choices. On the upside, the scrap book came out great and I am glad I saved all the gate passes from the airport.
Some days, I wish I could get a hug from a furry muppet
and that's when you shouted "ahh motherland" as you streaked down hall 4B
He climbed over 2 rows of the cab and told some random girl we were riding with that he would be in the back seat if she wanted to have sex
You look wasted in ALL of the pictures I just saw you in.
That can't be good for your liver!
Thanks for caring mom.
I texted her that I burned my tongue drinking coffee so it hurt to talk or kiss... How many points do I get for doing her without talking or making out first?
Randomize
