PS - I'm in bed with an 18 yr old-am I a cougar?
No - puma.
Tell her to GTFO!!!!! JAI HO!!!!!
Assholes at mcdonalds drive through wouldn't serve us last night even though we said we were on small motorcycles that were to small for them to see and weren't heavy enough for the sensors. We made noises and everything.
We just walked into this party and immediately got handed a grilled cheese sandwhich....
why do cheetos always look like penises
I just found out me and my parents buy from the same drug dealer.
you should get a family discount.
protesters in toronto definately have the best pot
Don't underestimate her when she starts going by "the vodka queen"
I can't answer my phone I'm at work
I slept with a male stripper last night. Priorities
Remember when we saw my neighbor taking dick pics of himself? He's back at it!
i stole nothing, broke nothing, and stabbed nothing. aren't you proud of me?
Just got a handjob from a 19 year old in front of the Parthenon. The Greek god of debauchery would be proud.
i don't remember much about your party last weekend but i remember you being so drunk you were crying in your driveway about pickles at four am
Of course i made out w him. He was painted green. You know of my secret longing for the Hulk.
I’m lazy so obviously looking like a rotisserie chicken is my favourite position
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