I wish they had a smiley of two girls making out
He had a stripper pole in his bedroom. I didn't know whether to be impressed or creeped out.
I'm just not sure how to initiate the "do you want to have sex with my boyfriend and I" conversation
Woke up with string cheese braided into my hair- literally braided
You don't forget tits like those, even if you are vegas drunk.
There were penises being pulled out everywhere.
We just started the day with vitamin bombs. Daily vitamin + whatever's left in your glass from last night = feel like a champion
I just can't deal with that sentence
Seriously though, you almost tore my right nipple off.
I sold him an eighth while trippin balls wearin my girlfriends tutu and tube top. and i was talking about albinos the entire time
well, he defiantly picked the right guy to buy drugs from
In honor of Sarah Palin's bday I suggest we watch Nailing Palin
Is it socially acceptable to break up with someone over snapchat?
I guess that's what I get for clicking on a link that says clown penis.
I'm convinced he's the patron saint of oral sex
Don't mention it
Just endorse me for cunnilingus on LinkedIn
seriously considering getting an electric blanket rather than sleeping with guys this winter for warmth.
Randomize
