one two three fourrrrnication!
Eww. Jon Gosselin got both his ears pierced.
He looks like a bad one night stand.
She rode me to the beat of Baby Got Back. I swear to god.
You were so drunk you tried to sell your salsa to everyone on the restaurant.
Every day I regret the life decisions that led me to bank management and NOT being a coke addicted stripper. Every. Single. Day.
His mom walked into the kitchen smiling, made a scotch on the rocks, hit my bong, and told us goodnight enthusiastically. He's suddenly more appealing to me.
Ya I guess he's not a bad roommate. I mean if he wasn't here I would probably be more lazy and pee in bottles and stuff.
But she tried her best to break my penis, so she has a few free passes with me
Well my sources tell me she just happens to appear in an episode girls gone wild.
I know someone that will spend hours looking for her. He also has many of said movies. And I will do it for free!
the evidence from last night is not good...
what evidence?
my underwear is on inside out, and there are french fries in my hair...
Seriously, you can't give someone's wife an orgasm on the dance floor of a gay nightclub and then hang out with her husband the following week
BING! You are now free to move about my panties. He just left for work.
Time to eat Mexican food til I hate myself.
That's completely alright, I do it a lot.
Sorry about my life...
I think it's time for tequila and I to go our separate ways
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