how hairy? two words: wookie tits
I am at a striph cluv. They are ovealls everywhere. I have hot rock botto.
Let's just say for some reason we thought it was okay to make a burrito smoothie.
I think im definitely allergic to shell fish. Or hungover. Probably both.
ambylanc
what?
there was an amgbulance. iw ish i was in it.
they would be such cute babies and they would grow up to have huge dicks. and that would make me proud as a mother
he made a bald eagle out of coke lines
So a list of things I should stay away from bringing up at dinner with your fiance tonight?
1) you and I went to a strip club 2) i saw you topless at said strip club 3) i cried when we watched the Real World
He's not drinking on his 21st. Shooting vodka infused Nerf bullets at him would just make a mess and I don't want to be a creep and spike anything... I don't understand awkward boys
apparently I got pissed off that no one would let me spray them with a bottle of champagne at midnight of the new year. so I sprayed myself with one shirtless in the near freezing cold outside
He sends me pictures of his dogs and I send him my tits, it's a win win situation
Within the first 2 minutes of this morning, I found out the Lions lost on last play, and Scott Weiland died. I wont be in today.
We were too tired to finish having sex so we just stopped to eat the cheesecake and passed out. I didn't mind
I just threw up in the bushes and my gardener started clapping...
She threw her burger out the car window last night. My vegan neighbors were not pleased but I’m pretty sure I saw a for sale sign go up on their lawn so I owe her one.
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