I'm trashed wearing your mom's snuggie. She says hello.
I'm pretty sure his head is too big to fit between my legs. Worthless.
is that a crab cake on the shelf with the dvd's....?
Ok, maybe I don't want to know what happened last night... But somehow I guess I moved the oven.
Staying in I think. Boyfriend has domesticated me. I'm making eggs naked right now. Also really high.
We simultaneously blacked out then simultaneously came to then simultaneously had sex with the neighbors. We're definitely meant to be roommates.
Some girl just showed me her stretch marks
You need to get out of tn
Haha. I got you. I always pay you back somehow. Do you accept all major forms of payment: cash, taco bell, and patriotic underwear?
I blacked out for most of the day but apparently I still met with my prof. I made notes...
Carving a pumpkin in a gay bar at 2am. How did my life get to be this way.
Do you know anyone with a stuffed cougar? I want one for a self portrait to hang in my house. A bobcat or lynx might work too.
If my eyeballs could make a sound to describe how they feel they would just say uhhhhhhhhggggggghhhhhh.
Don't worry about us we're making Mac and cheese
MAC AND CHEESE ABORTED, WE HAD FIRE
Had a one night stand and didnt remember the guys name until he started sending me poems in the mail.
What are you, a fucking toaster ?
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