You screamed, "I am going to fuck this cheeseburger". They all started laughing until you actually started having sex with the cheeseburger.
sitting in room practicing taking shots. has my life come to this?
sexting on a treadmill. speed 9.0 beat that slut!
Dude, she knew her leg was on fire and she kept dancing. Bad-fucking-ass.
My facebook horoscope today said I will have a little "confusion". Obviously astrology understands a blackout.
The bosnian sent me a sext with his dick next to a comcast remote. It went up to the "stop" button. Ironic and appropriate. Grab your remote and imagine it.
You've ruined television for me.
No. My vagina is not the scapegoat for your poor decisions.
The police woke me up so they had no choice but to see my morning wood.
You're just jealous because you lost me and I ended up at another party licking Marshmallow Fluff bikinis off of lesbians.
there is a dorito bag in my car full of my mouth blood
Who are these men, what are we doing here, how is this helping us toward our goals of sex and pasta? Things to consider.
She came to class yesterday wearing a shirt saying Maybe Partying Will Help. Showed up to class today and puked three times.
We decided this year instead of not participating in Halloween at all we are going to hand out free beers to the parents.
Yes, bail money means jail. It also means lie to dad, do it now.
Nate is still in lock up because when the cop informed me he'd shit his pants in the squad car I declined to post bail.
Randomize
