Somerville?? What the hell are you going to do there?
Watch a movie and have sloppy make outs OBVI. 45 Harris St. in case I die.
I saw his package. It spoke to me.
I'm okay, they said the swelling should go down in a week. But next time I'm shitwrecked, please make sure to remind me that I can't open a champagne bottle with corkscrew.
The parties out here are fucking awesome and I've got the grades to prove it.
I woke up because I was nodding to the dream question of "would you like a sombrero?"
she sent me pictures of 3 different vaginas and if I could pick which one was hers i could sleep with her.
I was always good at matching as a child.
Get caught with marijuana. Cop takes piece. Buy new bong. Circle of fun.
We're having a serious conversation and I just responded to something he said with an emoticon. I am so baked.
Just did a slip and slide down a five story staircase in my dorm. Being an engineer is fucking awesome
He wrote on the paper that he wanted a "Ptitty burreto" from taco bell...when we ordered it the girl paused and entered "Potatoe burrieto"....we laughed
Don't feel bad, we're professionals and we just housed burgers in burger king singing I believe I can fly
Youll thank me when youre dead an dont have a cat eating your face
Please tell me you aren't concussed from dancing on the stripper pole
Liquor doesn't fix sad, but it sure as hell lowers my standards for a rebound.
School starts Thursday. Don't fling yourself out of the car to throw up screaming "classy" before I park this time.
It's a new year.
Randomize
