i don't like sucking hair
either we just had an earthquake or I am really good @ masturbating
i was drunk at family dinner telling about my gay brothers sex ads on criags list
is the fantasy fufillment of sex in a hot tub worth the possible infection?
just skyped with my friend to listen in on the people talking shit about me in the library. creepy or strategic?
I just want a better ending for myself. Not walking around with one sock on and my bush hanging out.
Smoking bowl and applying to community college. I now know how I got here.
Are you seriously gonna shit with that life vest on?
since when did our medecine drawer and our sex drawer become the same drawer? we now have lube covered cough drops.
I just horrified a large group of people. Congrats on dating me.
Bad news. I baked you a cake and one of my fingernails is missing.
I heard you ran into my sister lastnight. Do you remember making out with her and slapping my uncle?
lets face it, we have a liquor cabinet with a designated chocolate shelf
death, taxes, and me drunk texting you are 3 certainties in life
Turns out naked yoga wasn't a pickup line. I feel betrayed.
Randomize
