i swear i just saw perry the platypus. the fuck dude. i shouldnt even know who that is
you can SEE the outline of a pad through her jeans. there is no way
We found them in a dumpster making out trying to get their privacy
Her face is stuck to the frozen jager bottle. I think shes ok with it
I'm not entirely sure what we did is legal in the U.S., but I know that couple wont be the same
Today's forecast: A sex tornado warning has been issued in your area. Counties affected include your bed, your shower, or your couch. This warning is in effect until further notice. Signs of a sex tornado include: your girlfriend coming up with a huge analogy to inform you that she's ungodly horny today.
IT'S A HOLY FESTIVAL. A BUDDHIST CELEBRATION OF PENIS.
They invited me day drinking but brought their kids. 3 two year olds and 1 11 month old. I was asked to change a diaper, I laughed and took another drink of this margarita. I LIKE CHANEL AND TEQUILA NOT CHILDREN. Can we make new friends?
Why are there so many fucking Lambchop puppets hidden around my house?!
No. Every time we go there, you end up getting high, then lost, then going home with strangers.
So what did you do since you didn't go out?
...ate chocolate and watched bring it on....it's like I don't even know what it would look like to be straight.
For a girl who cried from fear the last time she was asked out, this. Is. TERRIFYING!
I'm having a hard time eating my sandwich knowing how many different buttholes my hands were in last night.
rowboat hit a rock. taking on water. going down fast. bring cheerios.
aye aye capn
I just learned that I could drop out of school and spend the rest of my savings on a giraffe are you free this weekend
Randomize
