It's Friday. Sex?
I'm looking at pot farms on google earth. Google should be proud I found a real purpose for it to serve.
I feel like hell. The amount of black beans I found in my hair tells me I hit rock bottom
I'm gonna wear that dress that makes me look like a slut. You know, the one your sister got arrested in.
in case you blackout.. this is confirmation that yes, you were sitting spread eagle on the kitchen floor chugging pickle juice out of the jar.
I have jerked off in every room in your house. *the more you know
come parachute off the vicodin airplane with meee
he told her he was actually impressed that she had fucked more people in this house than the four dudes living in it.
We stayed up until 4:20 AM. The next thing I remember was waking up at 4 PM, like my internal alarm clock knew.
Well at least the house will be decorated when u get evicted.
Fell asleep on kitchen floor again, chicken nuggets everywhere.
I woke up in bed spooning a vacuum cleaner
Happy Father's Day to the first man I called Daddy while cumming.
It’s 830 am and the amount of Valentine’s Day snaps I’ve already seen makes me either want to vom, drink a bottle of wine, or buy chocolate
1000% No lie I was just looking on insta and was thinking about taking a bottle of wine to the face..
I don't know what to say to you.
I don't know what I said to you. Start with that.
Randomize