This girl is very crazy
She's one of those compassionate ppl
So everything I said on this seemingly endless date offended her
so when am I gonna get some from you?
when you dick grows 3 inches
Sex tip #67: Jizz in the eye is very near the equivalent to pepper spray. Not recommended for pleasure enhancement.
mom asked me why i'm never sober at family events, i told her i learned it from her.
She asked me to cum on her. ON her. I think we're out of the friend zone
Can't show you right now as we are in public and he refuses to let me photograph his penis in a bar.
We really have to stop convincing people tazing is the cool thing to do.
I have vodka soaked strawberries. My latest tarot card reading hinted at a lesbian/bisexual coming out. I doubt I survive the night.
I am pretty sure we beat baby seals over the head in a past life. That is why we are being punished.
It all started with sending him a text about Spongebob. It escalated from there.
And at the semi-adult age of 25 I have shit my pants. Not even drunk, just really late to work. Is this real life?
He thought I was gay. I had to explain I just really like wearing flannel.
I had to say goodbye to one of my fuck buddies last night. He's voting for Trump, we shouldn't be doing it anyways.
She said "Im going to hug you" tried to give me a hickey then said her life sucks and started to cry.
He bent me in ways I couldn't imagine.. and im a gymnast.
Randomize