ive never been so in love with another man before, in a totally none sexual way... no homo
she was so not down for the gang bang
if your leaving for the weekend then im farting on your pillow
Michael Bay diarrhea
you should probably quit with the whole "no homo" thing, especially when you are drunk, "mo homo"gives the wrong impression.
Just before going down on me she said, "I need a hairband for all of the jobs I'm about to perform."
She just drank the vanilla extract. Again. AGAIN. No one should be that eager to get drunk.
omg dinner turned into a foam party this is weiriiid
You didn't know it was a gay bar until the 7th guy rejected you. You were crying because you thought it was just a bad night. No more for you.
I must have drunkenly masturbated really loud last night, cause my roommate and his wife wont look at me
Saturday evening, however, will be my vodka and bubble wrap extravaganza.
But he does seem to be getting proper humping etiquette down. So there's progress.
Well we're either getting a bunny or I'm getting you pregnant in about 12 days.
I'm way too hungover for life right now
not only did he puke in his mouth and hold it.. He also sneezed while doing this
Randomize
