Dude love is like an itch. You fuckin scratch it, then it itches more, then you scratch it and it itches more, and before you know it, there is semen everywhere.
you are insane
Just seen on a tshirt : "fake titties taste funny"
I swear if I see one more guy in a v-neck and fedora I'm going to punch someone in the balls. This is philly, you're not supposed to look like Ryan Cabrera
If I were trying to take advantage of you I would have maxed out all your credit cards by now.
found her sleeping in the closet. woke her up and she said she was camping.
Have I told you recently that I love you, if for no other reason than you make my irresponsible substance abuse look tame by comparison?
my professor saw me buying beer for the super bowl and said go patriots. thats how i know im getting an A in his class.
i told myself when i was 16 i would never fuck an Alan. now i've fucked 3 and i'm punching my 16-year-old self in the face
As we were about to go at it, his roommates barged in singing jumper by third eye blind. Weirdest almost one night stand ever.
at work, .. 47 yr old boss was in a fight. 2 BLACK EYES. I may get fired. I cant stop laughing
I went to bed at ten on a Friday night I have virtues to spare
I think you just have to raise your bang age from 40 to 50, hope dust doesn't fly out and make her say tony danza
Go have fun. I'm gonna go shower off the regret.
I'm on the couch watching HGTV googling giant boob Halloween costumes so life is swell
He only has one ball. it was like fucking a cyclops.
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