I'm lost and stupid without you.
Ducking stuck downtown...all the fuxkig roads are blixkded
Just took career test that listed librarian and bartender as top career choices. Fascinating.
his profile picture is a blurry one of him holding a beer. i recognized him instantly.
I don't know what to tell you, usually I would just ask if they'd like to meet the captain. If you can't get laid it's your problem.
im destined to be single forever. i hope its okay if your kids come and hang out with my cats.
There has to be a way to make college graduation in Las Vegas different than any other Tuesday in Las Vegas. Strippers? Been there. Getting arrested for public indecency on the strip? Done that.
Her dad high fived me on the way out the door. Not the reaction i expected after she came so loud.
You kept hiding under tables and grabbing people's legs and shouting SHARK ATTACK.
Bro, if we got a house, it'd basically be a revolving door for slightly overweight, but extra cute, sexually deviant girls with daddy issues.
Saw my drug dealer at Easter mass with his family so that was weird
DO I FUCKING *LOOK* LIKE SOMEONE WHO HAS THEIR ACT TOGETHER!?!? THE ANSWER IS "NO"!
I had mediocre parking lot sex last night so the night wasn't a complete bust.
Got drunk tryed walking 12miles to zacks house woke up at noon on baseball park
Unless your name is actually "Ticfj" like my phone says, I have no idea who you are...
Randomize
