So I just told the bartender I would go down on her. You need to get here
Im in Ft Meyers right now looking right at an alligator. I have had a couple of beers and people are telling me not to feed him but Im gonna do it anyway.
Dude I just ripped my new jeans climbing out the window so his booty call wouldn't realize I was home. Being his roommate should come with hazard pay
I don't know how we managed to stay up but we actually sat in front of her open refrigerator for god knows how long while she ate salami straight out of the package with her fingers and I laughed. It was a trainwreck.
I'll pay you to write the paper but not for sex. You should only get paid for something you work hard at.
She wants me to spank her and yell "Kerry! Your father is disappointed with your choices!" Fuck up but crazy hot? Or just fuck up crazy?
I was too drunk to remember throwing up so i probably didn't learn my lesson
My boobs just got me out of my third ticket last night
i'm so proud. i woke up to nearly seven feet of basketball player in my bed this morning
you win. again.
Turns out both me and my grandpa have a guilty pleasure for South American men.
I ended up changing her contact in my phone to "O Great Potato".
I'm now forever going to blame miss frizzle for making me the sexual deviant that I am today
Typical Sunday morning text...are you alive?
Life is clearly unfair. You remember Courtney has three older sisters, well they're all "make baby sister look like a four" hot. I knew I shouldn't go home with her.
mother daughter bonding time. she's helping me make jello shots.
FUCK ME I smuggled weed onto a plane by accident
Randomize
