I'll let you put expensive food in me, but really, not much else.
I think we should boobie trap our beer this time using duct tape, rubber bands, seran wrap, and urine. Trust me I have a plan and it will work.
Wow. 8.8 earthquake hit Chile this morning
didn't feel it. :)
It's like 5 thousand miles away of course you didn't.
wait what? so it's not in america?
Fact: my bamboo plant has grown 2 & 1/2 inches since I started watering it with bong water
Either way you look at it, I'm a slut. But either way I look at it, I'm having a fucking blast.
She fucking ripped my chandelier out of my ceiling. How does that make her a keeper?
Jordan and I are drunk and barred out at the liquor store sitting in the awesome $70 Corona bench bargaining with the owner for a lower price, all while passing the Belvedere bottle between the two of us. Real life. College has down this.
His roommate left already and took the beer pong table so we had to take off his bedroom door. Maybe res life won't notice.
Maybe don't sell him so much adderall next time. The other day during finals he was convinced that he could see the "molecules of life in the air" and kept reaching up slowly to grab them.
Just so you know, I woke up with 2 oven mits in my bed and no clothes on.
We were just getting out tux's at men's warehouse he pulled both of the fitting room girls. I dont think he should be getting married
Stripping out of my teacher clothes to Talk Dirty to Me. Who let me become a teacher?
The single life is the freaking dream dude. I'm sitting here naked, eating chocolate mousse, and watching Gilmore girls. It's wonderful
Just finished 151. Eating nutella off a spoon. Bring condoms.
He called my IUD an IED, and said that’s why I had bomb pussy.... I didn’t correct him
Randomize