I stayed up for an hour trying to make my room stop spinning and then I realized it was bc my fan was on
Operation Purity has been aborted
There are empty beer cans all over and the go-kart is missing. I need it for my halloween costume.
My ex was here I looked him in the eyes when I grabbed some other guy by his belt and dragged him to a room
I'm in a bed full of sand, and also just took my contacts out. Whatever happened yesterday was great, I think.
No, your dick is problems. Anyone you fuck haunts us for the rest of the semester. If you need to get laid, I'll personally drive you out of state.
OH MY GOD IT'S LIKE SHOOTING FISH IN A BARREL, EXCEPT INSTEAD OF FISH THEY ARE FIGHTER PILOTS
Conversations we need to have while high 1) how mermaids reproduce 2) if blind people hallucinate what do they see 3) reincarnation
I've learned life lessons in Vegas. Mostly, drugs are cheaper than alcohol.
There arew tilmes ina man's life when christmaas. THerew are times in a man's lfie when drunk texts from a bathrom hyufgirto. So, you know, merry chriastmans.
as much as I don't like snorting drugs, I would totally be fine with someone doing a line off my ass. that's just a whole new up
Nothing makes the walk of shame as great as disapproval from a mom getting ready for work
You can cuddle me. Word on the street is my ass is ridiculous.
I want you inside me. Finish your papers.
I had to break up with her. She was sending me study schedules and recipes for vegan lasagna. I’m just trying to survive man
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