Sweater Vest, Chin Strap, Beard, sporting a white Beret- Please don't ever let me be THAT guy.
a chick just tried to cover her fart by sneezing. it didn't work
Just took my first sake bomb. I love japan
he was pretty good aside from the whole putting his tongue on my butt thing
Sometimes I worry for your future but then I remember how big your boobs are.
we were canoeing in the lake and i asked if he was too drunk for this, and he said "don't worry about it, i'm half native american"
So even though we broke up apparently according to my voice mail you still like me, with smurfs while riding on a boat.
Yeah go get her. And don't bring her clothes I want her to walk back in her Christmas stocking dress. Take pictures.
did i mention he attempted to milk her in backseat?
Just made macaroni burritos. Fukkin awesome. We'll have to try this when I'm sober.,!
I may or may not have just let Ash Ketchum capture my wild Pikachu in a parking lot.
I don't want any of this. I just want big sausages.
Long story short if you're going to get drunk on a sailboat at night leave your phone in the car.
I'm a girl who met my last three bfs in gay clubs. Think I'm doing something wrong?
Security showed up because apparently we were fucking too loud.
As your roommate I can attest that y'all do indeed fuck rather loudly
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