You ever start fucking a girl and realize she kinda looks like your mom?
ISS teacher has a tramp stamp.
Shotgun.
smelt my brothers hands when he got home to see if he lied about smoking again...he didn't lie but i definitely didn't expect to smell some other girls vagina.
Wow. This hand sanitizer smells awesome. It's like I just gave a handjob to a fruit basket.
Because he's your one night stand I shouldn't feel obligated to extend social media to him
So is there some kind of punch card you and I get to use every time we fuck a chick with a cast?
Night just started and I've already seen a woman headbutt a brick wall. Unintentionally. Epic to say the least
Ive been thinking this might sound random.. But we need a piano in our house next year specifically for railing chicks on it.
I had lunch with him today and quietly mourned his wasted good looks on such a disappointing set of genitals.
If there's anything my liberal arts education has taught me, it's belligerence.
he accidentally put it in my ass, i liked it but didn't tell him that and "accidentally" took his weed.
I was just drinking but now I'm drinking and chasing with red bull. I call this "getting ready for work"
How ironic... opening your legs for closure.
dude the water is back on, you can stop shitting under the tree . . .
I'm on a walk of shame carrying YOUR pants. You owe me.
Randomize
