he quoted Bring It On. It's over.
This is why I shouldn't be left alone with liquor and anticipation.
My mother's day gift to my mother is to promise never to tell her 95% of the stories I've accumulated in my life.
I keep getting texted pictures of my husband with other men. I can't figure out if he wants a divorce or a threesome?
You said that "grilled cheese was much to complex" and started to throw the buttered bread at the wall while eating all the cheese.
Apparently I tried to convince him to sleep with me by showing him that I could do dips....
Its not gay if you're best friends and there's less than an inch of dick in the picture. That's where the line is drawn
Well he can play the xylophone with his erect cock... So he's got that going for him
Hmmm. I never knew the difference. I've done either one and had stronger or weaker versions but usually if i took enough, i tripped balls. That should be a PSA for kids... if you take drugs and the drugs are weak, just take more drugs... The More You Know
Holy shit I'm 26! That took an embarrassingly long time to figure it out, I need to keep buyin weed from this kid
What'd I miss?
Erotic hypnosis and studded dog collars.
Philosophical question for you: is it better to go into work slightly drunk or slightly coked out?
P.s. There are few things I love more than brand new mascara and you are one of them.
Did you hear about the guy wearing a spiderman mask running around naked with a bottle of patron?
Yeah.
I was spiderman.
why yes, bad decisions will be made starting at 3PM Thurs through 8PM on Sun. You have been warned. Plan accordingly.
Randomize
