Do you have any idea why the dryer isn't working?
Because you touch yourself at night.
Never fear I pulled out... she had "lies about taking birth control" written all over her
Only your vagina holds the key to what happened last night.
It was like she tried to cover up all the weight she gained with a fake tan...
I DONT WANT TO PLUS I THINK I FLUSHED MY KEYS DOWN THE TOILET WHILE I WAS PEEING
This is like a relationship, I expect to be mind blown at least once a week.
Theres a point where you stop and say hey....as high as I am on LSD right now ...I`m just a man covered in paint
Laying on a pile of just out of the dryer clothes because this is NOT real life.
I'm wearing spiderman underwear, the question is what am I NOT capable of
Not my type, but the penis looks fun.
eating chex mix on the couch when he walks in naked and asks how he looks. are you shitting me.
He said I gave him the best head he's ever had and I bowed. I BOWED.
But in today's society it's frowned upon not to wear pants in public.
My ladyscape is the envy of many and the shangrila of few. I will display it proudly.
Your drunk naked friend is roaming the living room. Started roaming my room. Please come retrieve him
The only good thing about 2020 is that the hot flight attendant neighbors are using my pool a lot. If i can keep them from wandering into my Zoom meeting with my boss I’m golden
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