Kenny Powers is just a normal guy with exceptional hair
im dressed up like a present. waiting for someone to unwrap me ;)
this is your brother
He puts stickers to promote his new shirt company in every sack he sells. He's like the donald trump of weed
I take back everything I said about communal showers
We did however see an 87 year old guy die and get resuscitated last night at the bar. He then finished his beer and his game of pool.
I like that we make it a requirement to howl at the moon every time we get drunk together.
She seriously spent 30 minutes trying to make balloon animals out of my limp dick...
...
Exactly.
I don't understand or I understand perfect - if were not talking about fried chicken I'm not sure what's happening.
I found your dog. Now we are bros, so he is staying. Don't call, don't make it weird.
Maybe. I want to have sex at the fire station, most likely on one of the trucks. I wonder if I can finagle that before I tire of the spelling and grammatical errors in his texts.
you know that moment when all the alcohol kicks in and suddenly you realize the bar is very loud and you just want to bite someone sexy and ride their face i am kinda at that moment
i got to his house for our first date at the same time as his dealer, so what I'm saying is I'm in love
I have the WORST hangover. Pretty sure my liver fell out while taking a dump. THAT bad.
The bouncers found you passed out on the toilet. They tried to move you but you refused and repeatedly shouted that you wanted to go out like Elvis.
Some bitch is passed out in a pool of vomit. Fucking lightweight, it's only 8.30.
Oh, wait.. That's you.
Randomize
