Fuck. I have a girl here waiting on me in my room! I told her I was going to get a drink of water... I'm in the bathroom taking a dump... I have mudd butt bad... There's NO toilet paper!!
I wishh there was a lost and high section in walmart cause I would be there right now
You know I'm really starting to enjoy being everyones first gay experience
the cops didnt even wait to start drinking the confiscated alchohol from the party
12 garbage cans filled with water, a beer can floating in every garbage can, 20 ft. apart and you shoot with dodge balls..and thats only how the night began
I was the one passing out cake at the bars
Im embracing the luau theme and maybe bringing a kiddie pool filled with alcohol. Im also embracing the high probability I will not remember this night.
me blowing you awake is the exact turn i want our relationship to take
I'm officially no longer allowed to make any of my own decisions regarding alcohol, men, or the combination of both. Thats up to you now. Do me proud.
Is it possible to be sexually attracted to someone's hair?
I still think it's strange your mom saw me 93% naked with a Santa hat on and a raging boner. Tis the season right?
She tried deep frying a banana by placing one, unpeeled, into a toaster.
There's a dude wearing a banana suit at the house across the street....
I was so high I just stared at the papa john's app on my phone and cried
he's like crack. I can't be in the same room with him while drunk and not do him.
Randomize
