Sometimes when I whip my dick out it looks REAL impressive. This, was NOT one of those times.
Today let's steal peoples pets out of their backyards and leave ransom notes
whatever sunny in Philadelphia does on Thursday nights, I'm doing all weekend.
Ever since he's come out, my facebook stalking experience has gotten uncomfortable
do you know how hard it is to sit through a 3 hour movie with someone and not fuck them?
i no longer even have beer goggles. i'm pretty sure i blacked out and had beer lasik.
Im like a co-bf. he pays for her birthday and christmas, but i get all the action.
it's like i can feel the ghost of his dick still inside me
There's a paramedic out here, what have you done?
im kinda looking forward to winter break. ive been away from home for so long i think i can trick my vagina into thinking that these arent the same people ive been hooking up with since high school...
im not sure what exactly happened but i may need help faking my own death
Feel like I died but someone put me In a human microwave and I got back to life.
Dude. You gotta go home. I think I left the snake hanging on the chandelier.
he's like crack. I can't be in the same room with him while drunk and not do him.
I just puked into a clean basket of laundry.
Randomize
