you were convinced campus grass and foliage would give you your daily serving of vegetables to balance out the amount of alcohol you drank.
he asked if thats how we do it in the states..like there's cultural difference in fucking between canada and the us..
trying to figure out who visited the hillshire farms website enough for it to be in my top sites.
mom just asked if we are going to need more kaluha as she pulls 5 out of the cupboard. this xmas might kill me
Yes, she gives me platonic blowjobs as part of our friendship.
The nurse gave me a funny look when I said I thought I have an std in my throat. Bet she only does it missionary too
Just realized that St. Patty's is on a Saturday this year in case you were interested in coming to New York and redefining bender with me.
I almost itched my nose with the lit end of a cigarette. Help.
So this is what you do on your hungover days off put your balls into an egg carton?
Is it wrong that the only reason I'd want Savannah in my wedding party is to watch her whore around and drink?
Hey man, sorry about punching you in the face, also about turning the shower on you. I just really wanted you to drink some water.
At my place... I'm gonna be honest though stonewall Jackson is not going to be able to rally the troops. Too many shots of tequila
I came to the conclusion that Tinder and having the day off are not good for my relationship.
I'm at the level of despair that only Panda Express can fix
my nose is crying tears of wow.
Randomize
