you busted in the room, ripped the covers off of us, ... and fist pumped
he told me he once ran a blackmarket liquor store out of his house. thats all it took for me to go home with him
He filled our room with little plastic cups of beer so the only way I could get out was by drinking them all.
I'm ultimately at thr Shariton to drink and ppssibly puke on fancy shit. Thats my story and Im sticking to it.
I'm missing some hair, but it's cool. Breadsticks are done.
She's "threw gas on the fire to put it out" drunk. Come retrieve ur gf. Ps she smells like burnt hair
how are things with the new girl?
good, we have nothing in common but she likes being choked
I don't know what that means. But if you take off your pants, you'll probably get arrested.
She left a blanket, pillow, a glass of water, and two advils in the bathroom for me. It's like she knew. Best room mate ever.
I am officially now FB friends with my arresting officer.
I literally just ordered a gold medal online that is engraved with his name, "01.01.16", and "BEST SEX EVER"
Well I finally got to say all the things I wanted to say. Including telling him he looks like a naked mole rat
Fuck it, I work hard. I deserve nice sex toys
Ive seen a birth plenty of times, pretty awesome like a bear trying to climb out of a volkswagon.
can I CTRL ALT DELETE this universe
Randomize
