Yeah I'm pretty much like lane on gilmore girls except my mom doesn't look so mean all the time.
Wedsnesdays are always enlightening. Tonights revealation: One should not smoke from something taller than their person.
discovery: the myth about swedish girls giving good head? not a myth.
I woke up this morning naked, with a to-go box from Qdoba, an entire meal completely untouched. I have been piecing together my night to find some answers. I feel like Nancy Drew.
Apparently they want to see what I've been working on for the last three months. Can I just hand them a bunch of empty fifths?
dpoing straight shots of jhameson. boys are imp ressed. i apologize
In retrospect - making it rain salt all over our kitchen was not one of my best ideas.
Dude its so hot it my room I can't jack off. Its gonna be a long summer.
She vajazzled her vag. It was as useless as putting earrings on chewbacca
Dude shes not that fat. Plus, last night I probably would've done it too.
Someone left their drag queen on my couch. On the plus side, he sure does know how to make a mean cup of coffee.
I just feel like everything is too perfect
He's probably a serial killer or chronic masturbator
Or both. Which is common
You should frame my arrest warrant.
What the hell do you do when your fuck buddy leaves to go for a piss naked and 20 minutes later hasn't come back and can't be found anywhere in the house or outside but has left his phone, tee shirt and shoes in your bedroom.
I don't think there is a pre defined social etiquette for a lost naked fuck buddy now roaming the streets.
He was out clubbing with his SON. WHY did you let me KISS HIM? Also WHERE WAS HIS SON?!
Randomize
